Dory is a character from the Pixar/Disney animated film "Finding Nemo" available on Disney DVD 

MAJOR BLOGS - www.majorblogs.net - I'm here to rip you a new one, Joe Major League fan. Barry Bonds home run rip-off is your fault. Really.

I believe that the game of baseball has always been the mirror of the America of which it is a part. So what does the mirror reflect when Barry Bonds, who is alleged to have cheated on 200+ dingers to 'break' Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, is allowed to continue his baseball fantasy on the national stage? What does it say to see a park full of cheering fans, or veteran analysts like Peter Gammons calling Bonds the greatest player in the game?

It says that you the fan really don't care what happens in baseball anymore.  One guy even told me: "Barry or no Barry, I'm a fan, I'm going to keep watching no matter what."  Which is exactly what MLB's owners want to hear.

The Commish, Bud Light, the owners of MLB, and, to a lesser extent, the dynamic duo of ESPN and FOX, are banking on the fact that you have an attention span shorter than Dory, the ADD-prone fish in Finding Nemo.

"Barry Bonds broke a record? Cool! What record? What's a record? Hey, what's a Barry Bonds? Barry Bonds broke a record! Cool!..."

The Commissioner issued a statement that allows MLB to both collect all those extra tickets from you paying fans, and still crucify Barry later. His office released:

"Congratulations to Barry Bonds as he ties Major League Baseball's home run record. No matter what anybody thinks of the controversy surrounding this event, Mr. Bonds' achievement is noteworthy and remarkable.

"As I said previously, out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, either I or a representative of my office will attend the next few games and make every attempt to observe the breaking of the all-time home run record."

Let's translate this for the average Joe:

"Congratulations to Barry Bonds as he ties Major League Baseball's home run record..."
'We want you to show up to the parks and pay for tickets, tune into ESPN, or catch the home run hunt on your MLB premium TV packages...'

"No matter what anybody thinks of the controversy surrounding this event, Mr. Bonds' achievement is noteworthy and remarkable."
'We know you won't complain or stop paying us, so we're going to give Bonds record run just enough legitimacy that we can collect your money, wiggle out of backing him later, and have you buy all of it without thinking twice.'

"As I said previously, out of respect for the tradition of the game, the magnitude of the record and the fact that all citizens in this country are innocent until proven guilty, either I or a representative of my office will attend the next few games and make every attempt to observe the breaking of the all-time home run record."
'Even though my tongue should catch on fire and my head should dissolve like that Nazi guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark for using terms like 'respect for the tradition of the game' and legitimizing Barry Bonds attempt to break Hank Aaron's record in the same statement, we have decided that we can always hang Barry out to dry when the pressure mounts in the Balco case later, and still collect all of the ticket, souvenir and television revenue from you dim Dorys watching him now. Enjoy the ride, suckers!'

Yessir, the only reason that Bonds could even be allowed to take the field this season to perform prescribocide on the all-time home run record is because we in the media and you the fans allow it to happen with just a little bit of grumbling for legitimacy.

There were very few 'foul' calls when Bud Light co-opted the independent commissioner's office. There was no cry of 'foul' when salaries escalated into the upper stratosphere, and fans started to have to split up season tickets or take a second mortgage to go to a major league baseball game. Attendance didn't even dip all that much when the McGwire/Sosa home-run derby of a decade back was shown to be a steroid-hyped sham.

It would seem that you guys are willing to take just about anything up the ol' wazoo in the name of hot dog, a beer and a seat or a flat screen. 

Why shouldn't baseball, then, let Barry Bonds play out his last year at Delusional State and take you along for the ride? Think of it as the magic of Disneyworld. You know that the Mouse signing autographs is some sweaty kid gasping for air in a nicely tailored suit, but you still go anyway. You believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the 'real' people on Jerry Springer. When it gets right down to it, selling Barry Bonds' home run chase is as easy as making you believe that a car can talk, and cavemen are sensitive about their portrayal on TV.

Certainly we in the media aren't about to get between you and your participation in Barry's delusion, er dream. Bonds on the tube running for the record sells more Vytorin ads. It generates controversy, the grist-mill of the seemingly endless radio-talk shows. Love him or hate him Barry sells, so Barry stays.

Contrast this to a different time, when one of the other greats of the game, Pete Rose, was caught betting on baseball. A. Bartlett Giamatti, the last independent Commissioner of Baseball,  was raised in a more moral America, and was a far better and brighter baseball scholar than the used car salesman we have in the driver's seat now.

Giamatti banned Rose for life with about the about the same amount of evidence that has mounted around Barry Bonds alleged use of performance enhancing drugs that are banned by MLB.

The difference is that the country was populated with adults from the Greatest Generation, those World War II-era Americans who grew up with very defined ideas of right and wrong, justice and civility.  Rose was banned from the game for life, and rightly so.  There should be no quarter for cheaters and gamblers in America's pastime. The records that have stood the test of more than a century deserve more respect from the stewards of the game and its current inhabitants of uniforms. If they want to be remembered after they leave the field, then records, particularly the greatest record in the game, need to count for something.

Bonds benefits from playing in the morally hazy times of post-1960's America, where no one is sure what morality means anymore.

Ban the stem-cell, let two guys named Fred get hitched, and let someone who has been hit by credible sources as a steroid cheat continue to play the game until he can break one of the most hallowed records in the sport.  Everything is relative, as long as a few of us who stand to gain something are happy.

I want you to get mad. Really mad. Go to a minor league game and applaud a tough steroids policy of one strike and your out, perhaps the only thing that Bud Light has done on the job as Commish of any significance.  Write the Players Association a dirty letter telling them that you're sick of them cooling their heels on the drug-testing policies.  No more warnings. The steroids era is over. Write your Congressmen. Or, in the great tradition of the movie Network, open up a window and shout: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

"You're right! I should write a dirty letter to the Commissioner's office about Bonds!" you will say, followed by: "What was I doing? Oh yeah! Wheel of Fortune is on! Then I'll write that letter... maybe after I catch the highlights on SportsCenter... and wash the car. Wait! It's almost football season! Time to change sweatshirts!  Where's my remote?"

And the MLB cash register goes: "Ca-Ching!"